About a week to my 30th birthday, I realised I had become anxious for no apparent reason. Maybe there were things hidden underneath I had to deal with yes! It seems so. I have been under pressure a lot lately to meet a certain life target beautifully crafted by society.
Maybe that was the source of my anxiety, I tried so hard to take my mind off it, I buried myself in movies, in books yet someone at work or church or the many places I visit or work will find a way of bringing me back to society’s world.
When are you getting married?
No kids yet?
Don’t you want to just have children at least?
You are not getting any younger you know, find a man!
Hellooooo!!! society! Let this lady breathe for a second. Allow her to come to terms with her life! The anxieties of turning 30 made me come to terms with certain lessons in life.
I penned down a few below;
It’s okay to have a life contrary to society’s standards
Coming into terms with the anxieties meant being okay with me as I am! It meant hearing everyone else but still be happy with me. It meant NOT going through the motions of life just to gain the approval of society. We are all craftsmen in our own way because we all charged with crafting our own lives. SO HOW THEN IS IT POSSIBLE THAT WE CRAFT THE SAME THINGS!!!
You see whether you decide to crop off your hair totally, have your natural hair, remain single and unmarried whatever you decide to do you have to own it! Nobody will buy into it if you can’t buy into it yourself. Make that bald sexy! Make being single a joy! Make it yours and live it! You have a beautiful life. Own being 30 and single and sexy and bald! It’s okay to be the only one standing. Take a chance and break away from society but do not do it timidly. Own it!
Happiness is Subjective
Your happiness in life is subjective! It is yours!! It need not look like anyone else’s. If we are all craftsmen crafting our own lives then how is it possible to have the same achievements? What makes you happy cannot make another happy so measuring your happiness by another’s happiness is definitely going to result in sadness. I met a couple sitting in a restaurant back in Oslo last year. They looked so beautiful and they were literally going nose to nose and smiling. But what was obvious was that the man was in a wheel chair and the woman was feeding him yet they seem to be in another world, oblivious to the people around them. Yes that is happiness! It’s subjective! Decide how happy to want to be!
It’s okay not to be okay
Because who defines what is okay? YOU! Your okay may not necessarily be another’s okay. Whatever society may define as okay, my dearest reader, it’s okay not to be okay. Once you are happy enjoy it! You have to stay true to who you are and create your own path. Are you healthy? Happy? And aligned with your values? Then you are a great! It’s okay not to be okay with what the world calls okay. Everyone is bruising in some way but no one will admit it so hear me: There is nothing wrong with who you are. You are great!
Focus on what you have and appreciate the green grass from your side
The grass will always be greener somewhere. Even if everything is crumbling down at your feet, my love the grass is always green so look for that green grass in your life. There is always a silver lining in every situation.
Its still me writing from my crib in Accra,
taking life one day at a time with a glass of my favourite cocktail !!! 🙂
Cheers to life! To turning 30! Hurrrayyyyy!!!